Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Daniel/Paul 
Category: Slash, Missing Scene, Episode Tag for 48 Hours
Birthday fic for Akire

Big smooches to the fabulous minkboylove for the beta and the nagging. Yes, I expected nothing less from you, sweetie. Thanks! As always, any flaws are mine, all mine.

"Life is short, the art long, opportunity fleeting, experiment treacherous, judgment difficult."

--Hippocrates, Aphorisms, aph. 1
 
 

"This is unacceptable."

"Colonel Chekov," a tinny voice emanating from one of the speakerphones began in a reasonable tone, "as I have already explained, we must proceed cautiously. The security issues alone..."

"The Russian government is well aware of the security issues, Mister Secretary," another disembodied voice replied sharply.

Daniel stifled a sigh of frustration. He was getting that feeling of déjà-vu all over again. They'd already resolved this issue back in Russia. Why the hell did they have to revisit it at...he glanced surreptitiously at his watch...eleven o'clock at night?

Daniel knew why, of course. If he stood up and craned his neck, he could see the scorched ruin of what had once been the Russian DHD sitting forlornly in the gate room.

As feared, the Russians had been less than pleased to learn the fate of their prized piece of alien technology. What had begun as a diplomatic coup was threatening to turn into a full blown international incident. So it was that Daniel found himself seated in the briefing room of the SGC along with General Hammond, Paul Davis and a thoroughly unhappy Colonel Chekov, while representatives from the Kremlin, the White House and the Pentagon held terse negotiations via telephone and satellite feeds. 

"Of course, General Petrovski, I didn't mean to imply otherwise," the first voice-the Secretary of State, whose name Daniel couldn't recall at the moment-assured. "It's just that we have to be absolutely certain that other outside parties whose agenda is less...honorable...than yours, do not get their hands on this research."

"Parties such as your NID, perhaps?" a new voice chimed in, the thick Russian accent identifying the speaker as another representative from the Kremlin. There was no mistaking the disdain with which the words were spoken.

"I wouldn't be so quick to make assumptions, sir," another speaker countered coolly. "I seem to recall that your program had at least one incident with unsanctioned gate excursions. There may even have been others that we're not aware of. " 

"I resent what you are implying!"

"I'm not implying anything. I'm simply saying that Russia has had it's own share of problems with trying to run a concurrent Stargate program."

"Unlike your own, which has brought this planet to the brink of disaster on more than one occasion!"

Daniel groaned inwardly. The situation had gone from bad to worse in ten seconds flat and suddenly they were back at square one all over again, as accusations of recklessness and sloppy administration were lobbed by both sides. It was, Daniel reflected, nothing more than tired Cold War rhetoric, updated and given a new, intergalactic spin. Decades of animosity and distrust didn't just fade away over night and here was the proof of that fact being played out before his very eyes.

Daniel decided he could really use a stiff drink right now.

Before either side could respond and escalate the situation further, General Hammond cleared his throat loudly.

"Gentleman, please. We're getting off topic here. We were discussing the matter of technology sharing. Now is not the time nor the place to bring up past history," he soothed.

"General Hammond is correct. There is nothing to be gained by dwelling on past grievances. What is done, is done. We should instead look to the future," Chekov stated firmly.

There were sounds of agreement from various participants. Daniel wondered how long this particular détente would last before the next round of accusations were lobbed and their negotiations deteriorated into finger pointing and not so idle threats.

"Thank you, Colonel," Hammond said with a nod to his Russian counterpart. "I couldn't have said it better myself. Now then, perhaps we should return to the matter of naquadah reactor technology..."

Daniel let his mind drift as the voices carried on their deliberations in the background. It wasn't as if he had anything to contribute to the discussion at hand, anyway. And, Daniel reasoned, if they needed something, they'd just ask him.

Time dragged and Daniel found it harder and harder to concentrate or even stay awake for that matter. Daniel smothered his increasingly frequent yawns as best he could and tried to look attentive even as he prayed for a timely end to the seemingly interminable meeting. By the time a tentative agreement had been reached and the participants excused, Daniel was ready to collapse.

The sound of a chair squeaking tore Daniel from his thoughts. Colonel Chekov stood and Hammond and Paul followed suit immediately. After a moment's pause, so did Daniel.

"General Hammond, Major Davis, Doctor Jackson," Chekov said, inclining his head to each of them in turn. "I believe that this concludes our business. I seem to recall that your Pentagon said that arrangements would be made to return me to Moscow."

"There's no need for you to leave immediately, Colonel Chekov. You must be exhausted. We'd be happy to put a VIP suite at your disposal."

Chekov shook his head. "I thank you for your generous offer, General Hammond, but I really must return to Russia as soon as possible. There will be additional matters to resolve upon my arrival that cannot wait." 

He smiled at Hammond. Although his posture was stiff, the smile was genuine. "I thank you for your hospitality and I look forward to working more closely with you in the future."

"As do I, Colonel, as do I." 

Hammond waved over an SF standing guard at the open doorway. "Sergeant," he said, addressing the young soldier. "Please contact Lieutenant Robinson and tell him to arrange transportation for Colonel Chekov back to Peterson and to make sure a plane is prepped and standing by to return him to Russia."

"Yes sir!" the young man replied with a sharp salute before he turned on his heel and left at a brisk pace.

"Is there anything else you need, Colonel?"

"I do not believe so, General Hammond. I return to Russia with less than I had but I am far richer for the loss. For now I have all that I could need."

Hammond colored slightly at the reminder of the unfortunate turn of events, but he smiled nonetheless. "I am sorry about the DHD, Colonel, but I hope that the relations between our two countries will be stronger from this point forward."

Chekov nodded. "That is my hope as well." He turned away from Hammond. "Major Davis, Doctor Jackson? While I regret that our initial negotiations were difficult, I hope that this will not mar future interactions."

"Of course not, sir," Paul replied briskly. "You were only looking out for the best interests of your country. We all understand the exigencies of duty."

"Yes," Chekov agreed with a small smile.

"I'm sorry about the DHD, Colonel Chekov," Daniel chimed in, unconsciously echoing Hammond's words, "but without it we never would have gotten Teal'c back. Thank you."

Chekov's expression softened fractionally. "I am glad we were able to save your friend, Doctor Jackson."

"So am I, Colonel."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. They turned to see the young SF standing in the open doorway. "General Hammond, sir? Lieutenant Robinson confirmed that all the arrangements have been made for Colonel Chekov's departure. He'll be waiting for you at the entrance to NORAD, sir."

"Thank you, Sergeant." 

The sergeant saluted again and left the room.

"Colonel Chekov, if you'll come with me...?"

"Of course. Major Davis, Doctor Jackson, until we meet again."

The three men exchanged handshakes and murmured farewells before Hammond escorted the Colonel from the briefing room, the pair of SFs following at a discreet distance.

Daniel and Paul were alone.

The room was suddenly, disconcertingly quiet and Daniel felt an unexpected awkwardness. Paul returned to his previous place at the table and began to gather his papers, slipping them into his briefcase. His gestures and expression spoke of distraction.

Daniel watched in silence for several moments.

"Paul?" he asked, his voice soft.

Paul stopped in mid-motion and looked up at Daniel.

"You look like hell, you know."

The observation startled a small laugh out of the other man. "You're quite the sweet talker, Dr. Jackson," Paul replied. He leaned against the table and braced himself on arms that trembled almost imperceptibly with exhaustion. "I suppose that's only appropriate since I *feel* like hell. How about you? How are you holding up?" Paul asked, his solicitude for Daniel evident in his assessing gaze.

Daniel hitched himself up to sit on the edge of the table nearby, his legs dangling over the side. "Been better," he confessed. "Tired." Daniel decided it was better to be straight with Paul. Paul knew him well enough by now that his usual 'I'm fine' routine would have alarmed rather than reassured him. Besides, if Paul's appearance was any gauge of his own, Daniel knew there was no point in trying to pretend he was anything but exhausted..

Paul nodded in sympathy. "It's been a long couple of days."

"Yeah, it has. Been worth it though," Daniel added with a smile that Paul immediately echoed.

"Definitely worth it on all counts."

"So," Daniel drawled, "what now?"

"Short term or long term?"

Daniel shrugged. "Either. Both."

Paul pushed his briefcase aside and hitched himself up to sit on the table facing Daniel. "Well, for the long term the Pentagon will send some specialists to Russia to oversee the production of naquadah reactors..."

"Already done."

"What?" Paul asked, clearly surprised. Daniel realized that Paul had missed out on that particular tale.

"General Hammond's already shipped McKay off to Moscow," Daniel explained. "He's probably arriving right about now in fact." A slow, mischievous grin spread across Daniel's face.

Paul laughed and shook his head. "It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."

"That seems to have been the general assessment. Actually he's probably lucky they reassigned him."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Apparently he was a complete asshole and managed to annoy every one on base, especially Sam. I heard she damned near decked him when she found out that he was the one responsible for dreaming up the forty-eight hour deadline. Sam is definitely not someone you want to piss off. She might seem all prim and proper, but she can do things with particle accelerators that would curl your hair," Daniel confided with a shudder of mock horror.

Paul started laughing again.

"So..."

"So?" Paul echoed.

"You were telling me about the long term," Daniel said as he twirled a finger in the air by way of clarification.

"Oh, right. Well, the naquadah generator project will get under way, the Pentagon will lean on Area 51 to share some of their research, the Kremlin will send a team here to be integrated into the SGC rotation. Everyone's happy." Paul concluded with a shrug that spoke volumes about his own doubts on the subject.

Daniel frowned. "You don't think this will work?"

Paul sighed. "Truthfully Daniel, I don't know. Old enmities die hard, on both sides. Right now, everyone is on their best behavior. Allies, even wobbly ones, are better than enemies. Whether or not everyone will honor the agreement a couple of months down the road is another matter entirely. And one," Paul said his voice suddenly forceful, "that I am not going to worry about right now."

"That sounds reasonable," Daniel agreed. "So, what about the short term?"

"Short term? I'll fly back to DC and give a full report to the Pentagon, though they've probably got a pretty clear picture of things from our meeting. But until then, I plan on finding a VIP room and sleeping for as long as I can manage."

Daniel studied Paul, his gaze openly speculative. Paul's eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"Well... Those VIP rooms are functional and all but they're hardly designed for real comfort. I mean the mattresses are hard and the sheets are starched to within an inch of their lives. So, I was thinking...I've got this perfectly nice bedroom in my apartment..."

Daniel shifted a little closer to Paul on the briefing room table and lowered his voice to a husky purr. "A very nice bedroom with a king size bed with soft sheets and fluffy down pillows. Not to mention a shower with one of those massage fixtures. Oh, and a coffee maker that makes *real* coffee, not that brown sludge they serve in the commissary..." Daniel's voice trailed off and he gave Paul what he hoped was his most seductive expression.

Paul was frowning again, his brows knit together. "I don't know that that's such a good idea, Daniel."

"Why not? No one would even think twice about it. They'd just assume I was being courteous and you were just humoring me."

"Daniel..." Paul said, his own voice low with warning.

"Paul. This is our only chance to spend any time together. You'll be on a plane back to DC tomorrow and who knows when we'll have the chance to see each other again. No regrets, remember?"

"Daniel..."

"No regrets, Paul."

Paul rubbed his eyes. "Daniel, right now I'm so exhausted, I can't even think straight, let alone do anything else."

Daniel shook his head. "That doesn't matter. Just sleeping in the same bed with you would be more than I had yesterday. Please, Paul?"

Paul wavered. Daniel could see it in his eyes, could read it in every line of his body. But it wasn't that easy, not for him. A brief indiscretion in an airplane bathroom was one thing. Paul hadn't initiated that, hadn't prepared for it. Daniel had literally swept over him like a tidal wave, leaving Paul struggling to keep his head above water. This was premeditated. Daniel was asking Paul to take action, to do something that could potentially jeopardize his career. And all previous promises aside, this was a hard choice for Paul to make.

"Paul..." Daniel pleaded again. Paul's reserve gave way.

Before either man could speak again, however, Hammond returned to the briefing room. Both men jumped up from the table and moved apart as if scalded.

"General Hammond, sir." Daniel was amazed at how even Paul's voice sounded. He doubted he could have managed it. "Is Colonel Chekov on his way?"

Hammond nodded. "Yes. His plane for Moscow will leave on the hour."

Paul nodded.

"I know it's late and you must be tired, but I just wanted to congratulate you both on a job well done. While everything didn't turn out exactly as anticipated, we achieved our goal. Teal'c is back with us and it's due in no small part to your efforts. You're to be congratulated."

"In all honesty, General Hammond, it's Doctor Jackson who deserves the credit. He's the one who got us the DHD."

Hammond gave Daniel an almost doting smile and Daniel flushed in response. "Well, I did say I was sending the best man for the job."

"Thank you, sir," Daniel replied.

Hammond turned to look at Paul. "Still, both Doctor Jackson and Colonel Chekov commented on your diligence and hard work on our behalf, Major. This wasn't an easy task but you succeeded, nonetheless. Well done."

"Thank you, sir," Paul said, a faint stain coloring his cheeks.

Hammond nodded his acknowledgement. "Well, I suspect you're both exhausted. Major, I'll see that someone assigns you a VIP room for the night..."

"Actually, sir," Daniel broke in. "I have a spare bedroom at my apartment that I was just offering to Major Davis. It's certainly more comfortable than one of the VIP rooms."

Hammond smiled again. "Well that's very kind of you Doctor Jackson."

"It's my pleasure," he assured. "If we could have someone give us a lift to my apartment...?"

"Of course, of course, I'll take care of it. You should both go and get some sleep. You've earned it. We'll debrief tomorrow at," he glanced down at his watch, "1400 hours. That should allow you get some sleep at least."

"Yes, sir, thank you," Paul said. Daniel nodded 

"Now go on, skeedaddle," Hammond encouraged with another brief smile.

Neither man needed any further encouragement. With a parting salute Paul and Daniel left the briefing room for home.

Daniel ushered Paul into his apartment and closed the door behind him. He switched on the light and frowned.

"Sorry about the mess," Daniel apologized as he kicked a pair of shoes out of the way and picked up a sweater and a couple of journals from the floor. "I'm not usually this much of a slob."

"That's OK, Daniel," Paul assured as Daniel dumped the items on the sofa. "It's not as if you were expecting to fly halfway around the world or to have a house guest."

"True, but I don't regret either development."

"Neither do, I," Paul said, his voice low and husky.

Daniel swallowed and licked his lips unconsciously. "Um...the bedroom's this way." He said with a vague gesture to the right.

Paul nodded and followed.

Daniel crossed the threshold and turned on a bedside lamp. The bed had been left unmade in Daniel's haste and the sheets were rumpled, the bedding flung to one side. 

The easy banter they'd shared in the briefing room was gone, replaced by awkwardness. They stood side by side, almost touching, but words seemed to fail them. Paul finally broke the silence.

"Well, at least I don't need to ask which side of the bed you sleep on."

"What?" Daniel asked, bemused.

Paul pointed to the duvet that had been tossed aside, leaving the right side of the bed exposed.

"Oh , right. The right." Daniel shook his head, as if trying to clear it from a stupor.

Paul was about to reply; instead he gave a jaw cracking yawn. Daniel's face softened immediately.

"You're tired."

"So are you."

"We should go to bed."

"Yes, yes we should."

Agreement reached, they began to undress, silent once more. Daniel tossed his jacket on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed and then began to remove his tie and unbutton his shirt.

Paul followed suit, but his fingers were unexpectedly clumsy and he couldn't seem to find purchase on the buttons.

"Here, let me." 

Daniel was suddenly there in front of him, his breath warm against Paul's neck. Paul dropped his hands and submitted to Daniel's ministrations as he undid each button one by one. Daniel slid the shirt from Paul's shoulders with a gentleness that bordered on reverence before he carefully folded it and laid it neatly on top of the cedar chest. 

He turned his attention to Paul's undershirt, tugging the thin cotton free from his trousers before he pulled it upward. Paul raised his arms without prompting to ease its removal. Paul closed his eyes as the cotton slid over his head, then opened them again to see Daniel fold and place it next to his shirt.

Daniel turned back to him and moved very close. He trailed his hand down Paul's neck, across his shoulder to his chest. Inquisitive fingers reached out to touch Paul's dog tags, his fingertips warming the space where flesh met metal. Daniel twined the chain around his fingers then ever so gently, tugged, pulling Paul closer. He was close enough to kiss, so he did.

This kiss was different from the fevered embraces they'd shared on the plane. This kiss was slow and languid and it felt like a benediction. Lips parted and tongues brushed in a delicate dance. Daniel slid his arm around Paul's waist, to bring them closer, but he didn't relinquish his grip on the dog tags. Paul made no move to extricate himself. 

The kiss continued for a long time. They had the luxury of time now, and of privacy. While the sense of danger had sharpened the sensations before, Daniel now delighted in deep, lush kisses that seemed to go one forever. He felt wanton and carnal in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time.

With a gentle nip to Paul's lower lip, Daniel broke the kiss and began to place soft gentle kisses across the other man's jaw. His lips slid downward to linger against the pulse point, the skin nearly scalding his lips. Paul gave a soft moan that changed unexpectedly to a loud yawn. Daniel looked up to see Paul's sheepish expression.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault," Daniel said as he trailed his knuckles down Paul's cheek. "You said you were tired. C'mon. Let's get you undressed."

Paul nodded and watched as Daniel slid to his knees to unbuckle Paul's belt. Soft laughter drew Daniel's attention upward.

"Oh, if you only knew how many times I've dreamed of you like that. And now I've got you right where I want you and I can barely keep my eyes open."

Daniel chuckled at that. "Well, if you play your cards right, Paul, you might just get a repeat performance."

"Promise?" Paul asked, stifling another yawn, his eyes apologetic.

"I think that can be arranged." Daniel directed Paul to remove his shoes and step out of his trousers, which he dutifully did. Daniel left his briefs where they were; it was probably better not to tempt fate any more tonight.

"Get in," Daniel said with a gesture towards the bed. Paul again complied without pause.

Daniel stripped off the remainder of his own clothing, leaving his tee shirt and pants in a puddle on the floor before he too slid into bed and pulled the covers over them. He leaned across and turned off the lamp, returning the room to darkness.

Daniel rolled over to spoon up against the other man's back and Paul snuggled closer with a sigh. Daniel's arms slid around Paul's chest holding him, cradling him. He listened as Paul's breathing evened out before he followed him into slumber, his fingers twined gently in Paul's dog tags once more.

Daniel's eyes fluttered open, his lids still heavy with exhaustion. The disorientation of slumber weighed upon him, making his mind feel like it was packed with cotton wool, as he tried to ascertain what had awakened him in the first place. The room was dark apart from the dim green light cast by the numbers on the clock on his bedside table. He squinted at the display. Just after three am. Still early. 

Other sensations finally began to seep into his consciousness: the soft hum of the radiator near the window, soft sheets beneath his skin, a sensation of warmth and weight against his back Daniel turned carefully as memory returned. Paul was sleeping next to him, one arm thrown loosely around Daniel's waist. He remembered falling asleep, his body pressed close to Paul's back and realized they must have shifted positions in their sleep, though he had no memory of doing so.

Daniel peered closely at the other man, wishing for a little more light. Paul's face was lost in shadow, his profile limned in a faint, green glow from the digital display. Daniel reached out with a single fingertip to trace the line of Paul's nose, his cheek. Daniel's finger ghosted across the skin, then slid down to follow the curve of his lips. Paul didn't move. Emboldened, Daniel allowed his hand to slide along Paul's shoulder to follow the curve from collarbone to bicep with a touch that remained light and inquisitive. His hand trailed downward, then up once more in long sweeping strokes. Paul's skin was warm and smooth and Daniel leaned in to breath the scent of him. Paul smelled of citrus, cool and crisp, with an acrid undertone of sweat and musk. Daniel nuzzled at Paul's neck where the scent was at its strongest and giving in to temptation, he kissed the skin softly.

Paul shifted in his sleep, but didn't wake, so Daniel continued his exploration, mapping Paul's sleeping body by taste and touch. When Paul shifted again and rolled on to his back, Daniel took advantage of the opportunity to explore new territory, long coveted but previously proscribed. There was a scar on Paul's arm, near his left shoulder. Daniel could feet the knotting of scar tissue and he wondered how Paul had gotten it. He leaned forward and kissed it, as if he could smooth away old hurts with the reverent press of lips upon skin. He would have to remember to ask Paul about it later.

Daniel trailed small kisses across Paul's chest, eliciting a soft sigh from the sleeping man. Daniel smiled against Paul's skin and continued his path downward. Paul had begun to shift and squirm more vigorously, and Daniel knew it was only a matter of time before the other man awoke.

"Daniel."

Daniel looked at to see a pair of slumberous eyes gazing down at him, barely visible in the darkness. Daniel crawled up Paul's body and kissed him slow and deep.

"Daniel," Paul murmured again, his voice soft and drowsy and sweet. Daniel pressed a finger against Paul's lips to silence him then replaced his finger with lips. Paul did not protest and instead gave himself over to the embrace, wrapping his arms around Daniel to pull him closer, deeper. 

They traded lazy kisses for a long time. Sheltered in the darkness, there was no need to rush, no need to fear discovery or distraction. Here there was no military, no regulations, no duty. The things that stood between them by the light of day didn't exist in this shadowed place. Words, which were their shared bailiwick, felt like an intrusion so they were abandoned for another language forged of touch and sensation and fierce desire.

Paul surged up suddenly and tumbled Daniel back against the bedding. Daniel didn't resist. Paul swarmed above him, undertaking his own exploration. Paul proved to be an assiduous explorer, touching and tasting every bit of Daniel he could reach and Daniel moaned his appreciation into Paul's eager mouth when Paul's hand reached between them to grasp Daniel's erection, lying trapped between them. Daniel reciprocated and wrapped his hand around Paul's cock, determined to give pleasure in equal measure to that which he was receiving.

They slid and heaved and bucked together, their bodies tangled and twisted between sheets damp with sweat. The sharp tang of arousal filled Daniel's nostrils and he breathed it in like perfume. Paul's hand pumped his cock with a quickening pace which Daniel matched in turn. He gasped as he felt Paul's other hand slide between his legs and a single digit slipped inside him, just breaching the guardian ring. That was enough to push Daniel over the edge. He came with unexpected force, his gasp of pleasure loud in the hushed interior. His hand tightened about Paul's cock in response and he tugged sharply a few more times before He heard Paul's own cry and felt sticky warmth between their bellies.

Daniel shifted to the side then simply collapsed, still partially draped across Paul's body. He felt exhausted and energized all at once and he sighed contentedly as Paul began to stroke his hand along Daniel's back in a slow rhythm. He leaned over and gave Paul a sloppy, lazy kiss. This time it was Daniel who yawned and broke the kiss. He felt more than heard Paul's soft laughter as he drew Daniel to him. Daniel simply smiled and draped an arm across Paul's chest and insinuated a leg between Paul's. He felt a soft kiss placed against his forehead and then Daniel gave himself over to slumber once more.

When Daniel awoke the next time, it was to the infinitely less pleasant sound of a telephone ringing. Daniel groaned and grabbed his pillow and covered his head with it to escape the unwelcome sound and everything that it represented for just a little bit longer The phone rang two more times before Daniel sighed mightily, tossed his pillow aside and picked up handset.

"'Lo?" he said, his voice still muzzy from sleep. The part of his brain that was coming awake prayed that it was nothing more than a telemarketer, but past experience had taught him to expect otherwise. The sound of General Hammond's voice confirmed the worst.

"Mornin' General," Daniel replied before he gave a jaw cracking yawn. "Sorry, sir. No, that's all right. I know you wouldn't have called if it weren't important."

Daniel glanced over at Paul who was now awake and had pulled himself into a sitting position. He leaned against the headboard, his expression grave.

'Hammond,' Daniel mouthed to Paul, his hand covering the receiver.. Paul nodded his understanding.

"Oh." He darted another quick glance at Paul. Paul's expression darkened.

"Yes, sir. Of course. I'll let him know," Daniel assured. "Thank you, sir," he said then hung up. Daniel tried to look calm, but he knew he had to look the picture of disappointment. He looked over at Paul again and shot him an apologetic smile.

"I've been recalled, haven't I?"

Daniel sighed. He'd known there was no way to hide the truth from Paul, even for a moment. He nodded.

"Yes. The Joint Chiefs have decided to convene a meeting for this evening to discuss...well, you know. General Hammond's sending a car to pick you up. It'll be here in about a half an hour."

Paul let his head fall back against the headboard with a soft thud. He sighed loudly then looked over at Daniel. "We never seem to cut a break do we?"

Daniel shook his head. "One of the perks of the glamorous life we lead, I suppose." He'd spoken the words in jest, but they sounded bitter to his own ears. 

Daniel tossed the covers aside and slid out of the bed. He grabbed his robe from the foot of the bed. "I'll put the coffee on while you take a quick shower." 

"Daniel." Daniel froze at the longing and regret he heard in the other man's voice. He turned to look at Paul, the robe clenched tightly in his fists.

"I'm sorry."

Daniel sighed. "It's not your fault, Paul." He meant it, even if the bitterness still lingered in his voice. He gave Paul a wistful little smile then shrugged into the robe, tying it loosely. "Take a shower," he said and then left the room.

Daniel padded to the kitchen, his footfalls soft against the rugs that lined the corridor. For a brief time he was able to lose himself in his morning ritual, making his coffee in slow, measured steps. When he heard the sound of the shower, he leaned forward against the sink on arms that felt tired and empty. He chastised himself for being foolish.

By the time he heard the sound of the water shutting off, Daniel felt he had regained a degree of control. He sat at the table and sipped his coffee as he watched the morning fog burn off outside his kitchen window.

"Hey."

Daniel looked up to see Paul standing hesitantly in the kitchen doorway. He was freshly scrubbed and his hair was damp and slightly tousled. For a moment Daniel could almost see him as he would have looked the night before, the flush still lingering in his cheeks, his lips slightly red from kissing.

Daniel stood up and poured Paul a mug of coffee that he accepted with a murmur of gratitude.

Paul took a sip and made a face.

"Too hot?" Daniel asked over the rim of his own mug.

"Strong," Paul explained. 

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't even thinking. I always make it like that in the morning. It's been so long since I've had anyone here in the morning that I forget..." Daniel trailed off, embarrassed to broach *that* particular topic with the man he'd just had in his bed.

"No, no, that's fine," Paul said. Either he had missed the opening or had chosen to politely ignore it. With Paul it was hard to know which. "Actually I could really use the jolt this morning. I don't suppose you have any milk?" 

"Sorry. I had the mission and then the unexpected trip to Russia, so no groceries. I've got some of that powdered stuff, though. Sam actually likes it. Don't' ask me why," Daniel explained as he rummaged around in his cabinets and extracted a plastic canister.

"Thanks."

Paul dumped a heaping spoonful of the powdered creamer into his coffee, the clinking of metal against porcelain the only sound in the kitchen. 

"Better?" Daniel asked, desperate to break the silence before it became uncomfortable, crowding it out with banalities.

Paul took a sip and nodded. "Yes, thank you."

They both drank their coffee and the silence descended upon them again as they each glanced furtively at the other, waiting for a sign to speak.

"Paul..."

"Daniel..."

They laughed, the humor of the moment softening the tension somewhat, but not enough.

"I'm sorry," Paul said.

"Paul..."

"I thought we'd have a little more time."

Daniel stood. He needed to move, to try and dissipate some of the tension that thrummed through his body. "So did I, Paul. I guess we were both wrong."

Paul rubbed his forehead, whether from exhaustion or incipient headache Daniel didn't know. "I hate this as much as you do, Daniel, but you said it yourself. This is the life we lead."

"I know. That doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Daniel..."

Daniel shook his head. "I'm sorry, Paul," he apologized. "I'm not angry at you. I just...I wanted more."

"So did I," Paul said as he moved closer.

"So far I'm not doing too well with my resolution."

Paul frowned. "Resolution?" he asked, clearly confused.

"No more regrets."

Paul moved closer. "I don't know if that's really possible, Daniel. Everyone has regrets. I just think the trick is to not let an opportunity just slip by," He said as he came to stand in front of Daniel. "You taught me that, remember."

Daniel reached up and touched Paul's face. He leaned forward, to bridge the scant inches that separated them. "Yeah," he said with a bittersweet smile. He hovered there for a moment, then brushed his lips against Paul's in the barest of kisses.

Paul kissed him back then withdrew. "This is just a temporary setback, Daniel. Nothing more."

Daniel kissed him again. "I know. I'll miss you." That admission felt like a leap into the abyss.

Paul's smile was as warm and gentle as a caress. "I'll miss you too, Daniel." 

A buzz sounded from the other room. "Your ride's here," Daniel said unnecessarily.

"Yeah." 

"I better go." The disappointment in his voice was almost palpable.

"I know."

Daniel led them back to the living room. They lingered at the threshold unwilling to end the moment. When Paul kissed him for the last time, it felt more like a promise than a farewell. Daniel savored the kiss, to hold the sense memory until Paul had the opportunity to make good on his unspoken promise. Daniel planned to hold him to it.

Then with a final smile and a brush of fingertips trailing across his hand, Paul was gone.

Daniel returned to his kitchen. He sat at the table and sipped his coffee as he watched as the morning fog continued to burn off outside his kitchen window. Warm day ahead.