Date Archived: November 22, 2002 
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, Sam/Jack, Daniel/Paul Davis 
Categories: AU, Angst, Christmas 
Season/Episode: Any
Rating: R 
Notes: I would love feedback.
Warnings: Het 
Spoilers: None 
Summary: Daniel accepts Jack and Sam's invitation for Christmas, not prepared for the emotional consequences of his and Jack's affair 

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of Stargate: SG-1 belong to MGM and lots of other people. I make no claim of ownership and I make no money from this. 

Daniel wished that he had remembered how cold northern California got in the winter. Technically it wasn't his fault, since Jack had bragged about sunshine and warmth. Luckily, he still wore his winter coat and clothes from home. 

He caught a cab from the airport, he had decided against renting a car, since he was only going to be here for two days. And he doubted he needed to go anywhere besides Jack and Sam's house. 

He doubled checked his luggage - again - making sure he had all his gifts. It was better to think about that than about the awkward situation coming up - or the truly awful fight he had had with Paul before he left. The reason, actually, Paul wasn't with him right now. 

Daniel rubbed his eyes tiredly as he leaned back into the sweaty- leather cab seat. 

"I don't see why you won't come with me." 

"You know your family hates me. Besides, I promised Jack." 

"Daniel, this is the first time my mother's invited you for Christmas. Do you know how important that is?" 

"Paul, I- I'm sorry. but Jack and Sam - they were my family." 

"Ten years ago, Daniel!" 

"This is important to me Paul. Why can't you understand that?"

And it didn't help that Daniel knew he was blowing of Paul's family just so he could see his lover again. How stupid was this? He couldn't be any more obvious if he tried. 

The cab pulled up in front of a tan house with white shutters. "Wow," Daniel murmured, the place was large, much larger than the tiny house he shared with Paul. The grounds around it were extensive as well, so their neighbors weren't too close. Of course, it would be just like Jack to want a big back yard - to play catch with his kids. 

And after he paid off the cabbie and got closer, he saw was place was definitely kid-friendly. A bike lay on its side in the driveway and the backyard was cluttered with a swing set, some discarded soccer balls and baseball bats. Cute. 

He dropped his bags to free his hands then knocked on the door briskly. Then, sheepishly, he noticed the doorbell and pushed it a few times. A minute passed, and then the door swung open. 

Daniel looked down at the tiny person who had opened the door. This was probably Jack's son, staring up at him with big blue eyes - Sam's eyes. His hair was a sandy-brown - the color of Jack's hair before Daniel had driven the older man gray in their years together on SG- 1. "Hey there," he grinned at the child, who remained frozen. 

"Hey, Jake, what are you doing!?" Jack appeared in the entryway and picked up his son, swinging him onto his shoulder. "You know better than to open the door like that!" 

Jake merely popped his thumb into his mouth and buried his face in Jack's hair. 

"Merry Christmas, Jack," Daniel grinned. Jack was just so good with kids. 

Jack turned his focus onto Daniel and his dark eyes lit up. "Merry Christmas, Danny, c'mon in." He stepped back, letting the younger man pick up his backs and follow him into the living room. 

Jack and Sam had decorated the place to the T, green garland ran down the banister of the staircase and along the walls, highlighting the frames of the larger portraits that graced the living room. Daniel caught a glimpse of a wedding scene and a few baby pictures. The highlight of the room was a large tree in the corner decorated with silver and gold garland, bright blinking lights and sparkling ornaments. A toy train circled the base. 

God, the entire scene looked incredibly domestic. He wondered if he should tell Jack he didn't normally celebrate Christmas, then decided to keep that little fact to himself. He was here, for his own reasons and he was going to enjoy himself. 

"You can put your stuff in the guest room," Jack said as he closed the door. "Where's, uh, Colonel Davis?" 

"Paul's not coming," Daniel knew he didn't imagine the relieved look on Jack's face. "We, er, had a bit of a fight." 

Jack cocked his head to the side, looking a bit incongruous since his son still sat on the other shoulder. 

Daniel shrugged, "We'll talk about it later." 

"Yeah, sure," Jack pulled his wiggling son off his shoulder, "Jake, say hi to Daniel." 

Jake hid behind his father's leg, peaking out with one bright eye. He waved, shyly. 

Daniel laughed, the kid was adorable, "Where's Sam?" 

"She took Cris out to get a dress for tomorrow, kicking and screaming I might add. C'mon Jake, let's show Daniel his room." 

Jake ran ahead, down a hallway on the first floor. Jack bent and hefted one of Daniel's suitcases. "Dammit, what have you got in here?" he grumbled. 

Daniel stopped him with a gently hand on his shoulder. "It's good to see you too." 

Jack bent his head and placed a quick kiss on Daniel's hand. "Yeah." 

Daniel was finally here, here in his house. Just the two of them. Well, and Jake, Jack thought ruefully. Still, now he could show off a bit before Sam and Cris got back. And just enjoy the younger man's presence without having to worry about slipping up and showing his affection. Or letting anything slip about them sleeping together. 

They found Jake bouncing on the bed in the guestroom. Jack sighed as Daniel tried to suppress his laughter. "Hey, kid, Daniel's gonna sleep there tonight." 

Jake slid off the bed and pulled on Daniel's pants. Daniel leaned over as the boy whispered, "The bed's too hard." 

Daniel smiled brightly, "Thank you for trying to help." 

Jack grinned; it was good that Danny was getting on with at least one of his children. He doubted the younger man would find it so easy with Cris when she got home. He wondered if Daniel ever wished for children of his own. He could always adopt, or hire a surrogate. But Daniel having children with Paul implied permanence to that relationship that Jack didn't like to think about. 

The sound of a door slamming interrupted their little scene. "That would be Sam," Jack said unnecessarily. "Come on, kiddo." He held out his hand for Jake to grab and they walked together out into the living room. 

Sam and Cris were setting down their shopping bags around the couch, and god, that was a whole lotta shopping right there. "Daniel!" Sam shrieked when she looked up, and then half ran around the bags and the couch to hug the man. "I'm so glad you're here!" 

"Gee, thanks," Jack grumbled, though if he could get away with that behavior himself, he'd be hugging Daniel too. 

Sam slapped his shoulder gently. "I see you every day. Daniel I haven't seen since September." 

Daniel laughed slightly. "It's good to see you too, Sam." 

She gestured to their daughter, "Come here, Cris. This is our friend, Daniel." 

Cris was in the middle of pulling off her winter coat, revealing that she was wearing her favorite Giants sweatshirt. Nothing he did could get the kid to even look at the Twins. Oh well, despite the fact that she looked more like Sam, with her blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes, Cris had his own irascible personality. Poor kid. He just knew they were in for some rough times ahead, especially when she started dating. 

"Hi, Cris. Nice to meet you," Daniel said politely. 

Cris gave him a long look, assessing. "Is this the one we were buying last minute presents for?" 

Sam had the grace to blush. "Cris!" 

Jack laughed and high-fived his daughter. "Well, we weren't sure if you were actually coming," he explained to Daniel. 

"So you didn't want to waste a good gift," Daniel replied, "At least, I hope it's a good gift." 

"You'll find out tomorrow," Sam went back to the bags. "We have some wrapping to do. Come on, Cris." She carefully lifted the bags, so that neither Daniel nor Jack could see what was inside and followed her daughter upstairs. "Oh!" she called from the landing. "I'm sure you were a good host and offered Daniel something to drink?" 

"For crying out loud, he just got here!" Jack called back. "C'mon, let's hit the kitchen." 

Jack's kitchen was much like the rest of the house, well designed, yet clearly well lived in. Of course, Daniel could tell that a fair amount of cleaning was in process. There was still a mop and bucket leaned against the wall. 

Jack settled his son on one of the wooden seats around the kitchen table, before he moved to the fridge. Daniel enjoyed watching his lover move here, in his element, among his home and family. Jack was so tender with his son, and so clearly attached to his daughter. This was his place, his and Sam's. Daniel knew he didn't necessarily belong here, knew he had to rein in his own possessive impulses in regard to Jack. 

Right now he was still itching to touch, desperate for contact with the man he loved. He knew that was impossible, so instead, he sat next to Jake, who smiled up at him, but didn't speak. Jake was probably shy, he guessed, not much like how he would have pictured Jack as a child. 

"Well, we've got cider, egg-nog, beer, plenty of that. And of course, there's coffee if you want it." Jack turned back. "Well?" 

Daniel grinned. 

"Coffee it is then." 

"Do you have a lot to do before tomorrow? How many people are coming over anyway?" Daniel wondered aloud. 

Jack looked up from where he was fiddling with the coffee maker. "That's right, I almost forgot. Gotta confirm the caterers for tomorrow." 

"Caterers?" 

The older man grinned as he headed for the phone. "What? You actually thought either Sam or I could cook?" 

"I guess not." 

Sam chose that moment to enter the kitchen. "Daniel, I almost forgot. Where's Paul?" She asked as she lifted Jake off of the kitchen chair, and swung him up on her hip. 

Ah, of course she would pick the difficult question. What should he do? "Ah, well, we kinda had a fight." Blurt out the truth, of course, that always worked. 

Jack dropped the phone receiver, which clattered to the floor. "Oops." He muttered. 

"Oh, Daniel, what happened?" Sam asked, though she was distracted by Jake tugging at her shirt. 

"Down!" he cried. 

"Use complete sentences, hon. And we have to go try on your Christmas outfit. Let's go." She gave Daniel a glare before leaving the room. "We'll talk about this later!" 

Daniel exchanged a looked with Jack for a moment. He admittedly was irritated with him. "What was that all about?" he griped. 

"Phone slipped." 

"Right." 

"It did." 

"Why do you think Paul and I fighting is a good thing?" 

"You really need me to answer that?" 

No, Daniel didn't. 

Jack sighed and picked up the phone. He tried to put it back in its cradle, but it wouldn't sit right. Annoyed, he slammed it down, then, satisfied, turned back to Daniel. "Listen, I have to make a liquor store run. Want to come, or did you want to get settled first?" 

Translation: "did you want to make out or are you pissed at me?" Daniel had gotten good at translating Jack. 

"I'll come," Daniel sighed. "Let me grab my jacket." 

Minutes later they were cruising the highway, driving Sam's car. No way was he going to take the mini van, not this time. Jack wasn't exactly sure what they were going to do. If they were gone too long, Sam would get suspicious, and he doubted they could make it to a far enough hotel, get busy, get the alcohol and then get back in time. Then again, she was a bit busy getting the kids into their new clothes. 

Though it was kind of silly of her, if the clothes didn't fit, she wasn't going to run out and get new ones, was she? Then again.. 

Daniel's conspicuous silence filled the car as Jack drove along Central Ave. The only liquor store he knew of that remained open on Christmas Eve was still a bit off. That gave them some extra travel time. 

Damn, he should not be thinking like this, on Christmas Eve of all times. 

"Jack," Daniel finally broke the tension. "Look, we agreed to keep this thing between us, well, at the level it is." 

"Daniel," Jack interrupted. "I know that. And for the record, I wasn't `happy' about you fighting with Paul." 

"No?" 

"No. Maybe, I was thinking, I was the reason you were fighting with him." 

"No," Daniel said softly. "His mother doesn't like me. Well, they wouldn't like any lover his son brought home who was male. Look, let's not talk about it. You're absolutely the wrong person I should be telling this to." 

"Aren't we friends, Daniel?" Jack asked softly. 

Daniel sighed. "Yeah, Jack. But it would be like you talking to Sam about problems we're having. We just can't do that."

Good thing Daniel didn't know about the conversations he and Sam had about the archaeologist. He pulled into the parking lot behind the liquor store block, the actual store itself didn't have a lot, and they needed to cut through a short alleyway to get to the main street. Jack had plans for that alley. 

They had no sooner gotten into the shadowed passageway than Jack had Daniel backed up against the wall, pressed groin to groin, chest to chest. He leaned in and took possession of Daniel's lips, eating him up like the starving man that he was. "Daniel, god." 

And Daniel was pushing up against him, grasping Jack's buttocks with both hands, guiding the rhythm as they pressed against each other, again and again, hardness against hardness. Jack lost himself in Daniel's lips, his ears, his neck, any bit of skin he could reach. He was so close, so ready to come, just from this, having Daniel writhe in his arms so submissively. 

"Jack, Jack!" Daniel's voice cut into his haze like a sharp knife. 

"Huh," he murmured, not in the mood to be coherent. 

"Jack," and Daniel pushed him slightly, so that they were at least an arms length apart. "Think about this. We can't go in there with our crotches dripping." 

And he groaned, Daniel's words were unintentionally erotic. "I just needed to touch you," he murmured, breathlessly. 

Daniel sighed, struggling to control himself. "Jack, we're humping each other in the back alley of a liquor store on Christmas Eve." 

"Your point is?" 

"As much as I would like to fool around, this isn't a good idea," Daniel finally admitted. 

Jack sighed, then moved in to sneak one last kiss. "C'mon. We've got an errand to run." 

What the heck was wrong with him? He knew this was such a bad idea; heck this entire thing with Daniel was completely nuts. Still, no matter how often he had resolved to himself that he would somehow stop this, Jack still found himself craving Daniel's touch, his body, his hard cock in his hand. Damn, he needed to get his thoughts out of the gutter. 

Now it was Jack's turn for silence, as they made their way back to his house. Daniel wasn't sure what to make of their abortive attempt at coitus in the alley. On one hand, it was entirely erotic in theory, on the other, Daniel really didn't feel like getting caught with his pants down. Last time he checked, public indecency was still on the books. Get arrested would let their secret out, real fast. 

"You know we don't have time for this," Daniel said in a low tone, as the car slowly approached Jack's street. 

"I know," Jack answered. "That doesn't stop me from wanting to." 

They didn't discuss it any more, and arrived back at Jack's house, laden with alcohol for the party and frustrated as all get out. Sam seemed to pick up on the mood when they entered. She knelt by the Christmas tree, placing gift strategically so they wouldn't interfere with the train set. "What's up, guys?" she asked, pulling a Christmas ball out of Jake's hands. "Here, hon, put this over there," she handed him one of the larger presents. 

Daniel helped Jack carry in the boxes, and then knelt next to the kids. "I have a few gifts in my room. Want to help me put them out?" 

Jake nodded shyly, god that kid was cute, and he allowed Daniel to hold his hand when they went to the guestroom to retrieve Daniel's bag of presents. Cris seemed indifferent at best and followed them at a distance. 

The rest of the evening followed the same pattern, and Daniel seemed to be bonding with Jack's son. And when Jack suggested they go to bed to wait for Santa Claus, Jake wanted Daniel to help put out the milk and cookies. 

Had he ever been that young? Well, of course he had, but certainly never this innocent. Not growing up where he had, half a world away in a place that might as well have been another planet for all little Jake could relate to it. 

Daniel reviewed the day as he lay in the slightly lumpy guest bed. He tried not to think about Sam and Jack together in the master bedroom upstairs. Especially not think about the possibility of them making love up there. He had gotten Jack so hot earlier, to even imagine his lover slaking his lust with his wife, well there was something slightly wrong with that picture. But Jack belonged with Sam. The two were married after all, happily married it seemed, with two beautiful children. 

Disgusted, Daniel rolled over, curling on his side. Why was he doing this to himself again? 

He wasn't sure when he became aware of the presence in the room, only that he turned over and saw Teal'c standing in the doorway. Ah, he must be dreaming them. 

"Hi Teal'c," he said, honestly pleased to see his friend. "It's good to see you." 

Teal'c inclined his head to one side, as he was wont to do. "Daniel Jackson. It is good to see you as well. You are not surprised by my presence here?" 

Daniel shrugged, "Jack told me about his dream. It's not illogical to assume I might dream about you as well. I assume you're here to berate me for sleeping with Jack?" 

"I do not need to tell you that which you already know." 

"Then why are you here?" 

"To warn you about the danger that is coming." 

"Danger?" Daniel asked, "What are you talking about?" 

"The Stargate," Teal'c told him. "The trouble comes from it." 

"Teal'c? What? Wait!" 

But Teal'c was gone, and Daniel was alone in this strange bed, staring up at the ceiling. What the heck was that all about? 

Before he could get the chance to analyze the odd dream, the door to the room creaked open and a small form bounded into the room and bounced on to the bed. 

"Whoah, Jake!" Daniel laughed. 

"It's Christmas! I got presents!" 

"That's nice, Jake, but you can't open all of them right now. Save some for when everyone arrives!" 

"I can open the ones from Santa, c'mon!" 

And Daniel found himself in the middle of the Carter-O'Neill's little Christmas morning ritual. He felt slightly uncomfortable among everyone in their pajamas, especially seeing Jack. He kept his eyes averted, not wanting any unpleasant surprises ruining Christmas for the kids. 

"Ok, let's see what Santa got you," Jack got down on the floor with his kids and handed out the presents. "You can open the rest of the gifts later, when everyone else gets here." 

Sam entered the room and handed Daniel a mug of coffee. He grinned gratefully at her, and hung back to watch. Jack tore into the gifts like the large 57-year-old kid that he was. Sam made sure the paper got put into a convenient bag. Both looked on proudly, helping when necessary. 

Daniel sipped his coffee, aware that he was the odd man out here. 

Sam figured that Jack and Daniel must have been arguing again. What else could explain the distance between them since they had gotten back from the liquor store? 

Jack had volunteered to dress the kids and so Daniel had stepped forward to help Sam set the table before the caterers arrived with the food. They needed a place to put their little impromptu buffet, after all. 

"Daniel, are you ok?" She asked, as he looked up from smoothing the red plastic tablecloth. 

"Sure, Sam," he smiled at her. 

And she had missed that smile, so sweet, even on a man in his forties. Daniel needed to smile more often, she decided. "Did you have a fight with Jack, yesterday?" 

When he ducked his head, she had her answer. Mentally, she sighed and resolved to strangle her husband when she had the chance. Jack was supposed to help draw Daniel out, not send him back into his isolationism. 

Daniel responded by changing the subject. "So, ah, do I finally get to meet your brother?" 

She sighed, a bit exasperated at him and slightly annoyed with the topic change. "No. It's mostly people from the SGC coming. It's time for a different kind of family." she trailed off, not wanting to get into the reasons Mark wasn't coming - mostly due to his anger at not being able to see their father when Jacob had died. Sam moved to Daniel's side and touched his arm affectionately. "Whatever Jack said, you know he probably didn't mean it, right?" 

Daniel just shook his head. "We didn't fight, Sam. Please don't worry about it." 

Still uncomfortable for some reason, Sam only nodded. Then the doorbell rang. "That must be the caterers." 

Daniel had retreated into the guest bedroom to grab his clothes, and took a quick shower in the guest bathroom. For all his time here, he still hadn't seen upstairs, and wasn't exactly sure he wanted to. The first floor was large enough. He made it back into the living room just as Sam was ushering Janet into the room. 

"Janet!" he cried happily. 

"Daniel! My god, you actually came!" she laughed, and held out her arms for a hug. 

He laughed, bending slightly to match her slight frame. Janet looked amazingly well, still a brunette, though he supposed that was no longer due to nature. By all rights, she should have gone gray years ago with all the stress from being a doctor at a top-secret military base. "Wouldn't miss it," he said into her ear before he stepped back grinning. 

Then a young woman stepped into his view and he gasped. "Cassie? You've grown up!" 

She laughed and reached out for her own hug. "That's what happens to little girls, Daniel. Even me." Cassie murmured into his ear, "I still have all the birthday cards you sent me, every one." 

He smiled; Daniel had never forgotten the young alien girl who was sort of adopted by all of SG-1, though she was technically Janet's daughter. "It's so good to see you." 

And as the afternoon went on the doorbell continued to ring, the reunions went on. Daniel greeting people he hadn't seen in years. General Hammond came, one of his granddaughters supporting one arm, the other resting on an ornate wooden cane. Nyan had come, looking slightly bright eyed at seeing Daniel. Daniel also was pleased to see Siler and Simmons. 

"Did you invite everyone who was a gate technician?" he teased Sam as they crossed paths in the kitchen. 

"Nearly," she laughed, carrying a platter of cookies out into the living room. 

Daniel slid open the sliding door in the back of the kitchen and stepped out onto the deck. He needed some time to clear his thoughts. It was nice seeing all these people, but for a bit there, it got overwhelming. He leaned over the wooden railing, looking out over the unevenly landscaped lawn. Jack and Sam had a little garden, he noted absently. 

He turned as the sliding door opened again, and Jack stepped out onto the deck. "Hey, Daniel, what are you doing out here? It's cold." He rubbed his arms to demonstrate. 

"Jack," Daniel said softly, turning so his backside was leaning on the railing. 

"Daniel?" Jack came close, and rested his hand on Daniel's shoulder, his face puzzled. 

"Jack, you have a wonderful family," Daniel began, knowing that he had to say this, but it was so hard, so difficult to do. 

Jack grinned, "Thanks. Cris loved the soccer jersey by the way. And I just know those legos you got Jake will be all over the floor by tomorrow." 

Daniel closed his eyes, gathering strength before he let out one long breath and looked hard at his lover. "Jack, we can't do this anymore." 

"What?" 

"I mean, we have to stop. This is insane. You, you have such a wonderful life here." 

"You've been watching the holiday movies again?" 

"Stop it, Jack. I mean it, we need to just, just be friends again. That's it." 

"That's it?" Jack said softly. 

"Yeah," Daniel whispered, before pulling away from Jack and moving to go back inside. 

"Daniel, we should talk about this." 

Daniel shook his head, trying to clear his head, trying to hold back the string of emotions. He had surprised himself with the declaration, but he would not be the reason this family was torn apart. Better they end this stupidity before Sam or anyone else found out. He slipped through the door quickly and made a beeline for the living room. He knew if he gave Jack a chance to object, he would back down. Even now, he regretted it, knowing that his actions meant he would never feel Jack's arms around him, never feel his lips, or watch his face as Jack came. 

To stop the rolling thoughts, he purposely went and sat on the couch between Janet and Sam and stepped right into the middle of a conversation about Teal'c. Fortunately it was the good kind of conversation, about the pleasant memories they all shared. 

Sam was talking, "And remember when he came back from that awful fishing trip with Jack? `I do not believe Col. O'Neill's pond possesses any fish.'" 

"Hey," Jack said from the door. "It's not my fault he didn't catch any fish." 

"But you didn't catch any either!" Sam protested and they all laughed. Jack came and perched himself on the arm of the couch just to the right of Sam. She put her arm around him and leaned into her husband. 

Daniel felt physically ill. 

"So, Daniel," Janet poked him gently in the side. "What is this press conference thing we all got invited to?" 

"What are you talking about, Jan?" Jack asked, as he snagged Jake by the shirt as the kid ran in front of him. "Watch out for the table, kiddo," he murmured, letting his son go back to playing with Siler's kids. 

"Oh, I didn't show you?" Sam asked, "I must have forgotten. We got a letter from Daniel's Paul about a press event he wants us all to attend. Something about being the final bit of his work with the media and the Stargate." 

"I thought that reception in DC was the last bit," Jack protested. 

"Actually," Daniel put in shyly, "It was only the beginning of his larger plan. The public accepts intellectually that we can travel to other planets, but doesn't quite believe it yet." He leaned forward to play with an abandoned cup of coffee on the table. "Paul is planning a reception to greet one of the Asgard." 

Janet spit out the contents of her drink and Jack nearly fell off the couch. "What?" 

"Times have finally changed enough so we can do this," he explained, glad for something to take his mind off of other concerns. "Can you imagine, finally, a united Earth?" 

"You're too optimistic, Danny," Jack said sourly. 

"Paul doesn't think so," he snapped, then immediately regretted his words when he saw the hurt in Jack's eyes. He shouldn't have made this ideological argument about their personal relationship. And he couldn't even apologize because that would clue their audience in on the entire subtext to this conversation. 

Fortunately, before another ill-advised word could come out of his mouth, the phone rang and Sam leapt up to answer it. Jack plunked himself down in her seat and gave Daniel one brief, sharp nod. Daniel wasn't going to speculate what that meant. 

"Daniel, it's for you." Sam held out the cordless phone. 

Puzzled, he took it from her, not sure who exactly would be calling him here. When he put the phone to his ear and uttered a tentative `hello' he got his answer. Only one person would call him here, really. 

"Daniel. Merry Christmas." Paul's voice came over just a bit staticy across the lines. 

"Paul," he couldn't quite judge Paul's mood from his slightly garbled voice. He stood and moved into the kitchen for a bit of privacy. "Um hi, where are you?" Last he knew, Paul should be at his parent's place in Pennsylvania. 

"I'm home," Paul sighed. "I mean, our home, in West Windsor. Spending the holiday with my parents was just awful. I'm sorry, Dan." 

"What? Why are you apologizing?" 

"Because you were right. My mother didn't really want to make amends. I think she just wanted you to come so she could preach at you too." Paul's voice got slightly louder. "Now I wish I was in California with you." 

Now that would have been a disaster, Daniel thought absently. "I'm sorry," he said into the phone, not exactly sure what he was sorry for - Paul's ruined holiday or his own infidelity. 

"Are you coming home tomorrow? I miss you." 

"I miss you too," Daniel whispered into the phone. He knew he was never going to have a life with Jack. Why was he doing this, participating in a course of action leading him further from home - from his own family with Paul. "I left your present there. It's on the mantel." 

There was a bit of rustling before Paul finally gasped and said, "Daniel, this is wonderful. Where did you find time to do this?" 

He grinned, knowing Paul couldn't see him. The scrapbook had been a labor of love, as he had clipped any and all of the press about Paul's media campaign regarding the Stargate project. 

"And where did you find the paper?" Paul teased. 

"Smart ass," Daniel laughed into the phone. "We do have a printer you know." Perhaps clipping was too strong a word for the articles he had downloaded. Still the artful yet old-fashioned scrapbook told a little story - culminating with the SGC reception in DC. Daniel had even put in pictures from their own lives, showing how their relationship had progressed through the years. He had started this project months before Jack had come back into his life. 

"I've got your gift here," Paul whispered. 

"I'll open it tomorrow," Daniel promised. "Love you." 

"Love you," Paul murmured, and then hung up. 

Daniel clicked the phone off and then placed it on the counter. 

"You ok?" Jack asked from the doorway. He must have just come in, Daniel realized. 

Daniel shrugged, not really sure. He had told Jack they should think about stopping, that he knew he had no real place in Jack's life. He had no right to do what he had done, taking Jack up on that insane offer all those months ago. However, he didn't regret it, hadn't regretted a moment of it. Even now his body still prickled with desire for Jack. 

He folded his arms across his chest, in a desperate bid not to reach out and touch Jack. That didn't stop the older man from stepping forward and taking Daniel's face in his hands. "You're regretting it, aren't you? Calling us off?" Jack whispered, so softly Daniel had to lean forward to hear him. 

Dammit Jack, he thought, we can't hash this out here, in your family's kitchen. "No," he denied. "I love Paul." 

Jack's fingers began to stroke Daniel's cheek and the younger man trembled at that sensual touch. 

"Jack," Daniel gasped. How was he still under this man's spell? 

"We can't leave it like this, Daniel," Jack swore, his body wound tight as a rope. 

"I know," Daniel answered. 

"Fishing," the older man said suddenly, almost out of the blue. 

"What?" 

"We'll go fishing. You and me, in the spring, at my grandfather's cabin. Then we'll settle this for once and for all." 

Daniel didn't have a chance to respond because the door banged open and he jumped back, his face flushed. 

"Everything ok?" Sam asked. "Janet's leaving and I thought you wanted to say good bye." 

"Oh, yeah. Thanks Sam." He couldn't just let Janet and Cassie leave. There were other friends from the SGC besides Jack. Daniel needed to remember that. 

Jack had driven Daniel to the airport, with wife and kids in tow. Daniel learned just how comfortable a mini-van could be and Sam let him ride shotgun. Before they left the house, Jake had presented him with a gift - a little drawing of Daniel and himself in front of ambiguous buildings that may or may not be pyramids. "Thank you," Daniel had said, honestly touched when Jake had lifted his arms for a hug. 

"Thank you for the sweater," Daniel said suddenly, twisting around in the car seat to look at Sam. "I realized I had forgotten to say that. Sorry." 

Sam just grinned at him. "You're welcome. And thank you for the picture. It's beautiful." 

She had said as much yesterday when she had opened Daniel's gift to the Carter-O'Neill family - a framed portrait of one of their team photos. It was much better than that horrid mural of them in DC. 

Jack found a parking spot as close to Daniel's gate as possible. "Ok, say goodbye to Daniel here. I'll walk him to the terminal." 

"Are you illegally parked again?" Sam asked, probably wondering why they were being left behind. 

"Ah, yeah, well," Jack muttered sheepishly. "The kids can see the planes from here." 

Daniel got out of the van and helped Jack unload his luggage. Then he hugged Jake and shook hands with Cris. "You should visit us again," Sam told him, hugging him tightly. "It was so good to have you here." 

"Thanks, Sam. Same here," he whispered, "Email or call, ok?" 

She nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. 

"C'mon," Jack said gruffly and they entered the airport. 

Just before his gate, Jack stopped him. "I, er, wanted to give you something. Only, I wasn't sure if I should." 

Daniel smiled slightly, still not sure exactly where he and Jack stood. "That's ok, I didn't get you anything either." 

"Actually," Jack reached into his coat pocket and pulled out something. 

Daniel took it, shocked that Jack had actually purchased something for him. Perhaps the older man felt more for him that he had given him credit for. The gift was unwrapped, just a slim, black leather- bound journal, with gold gilding on the edge of the pages. Something anonymous, but precious because Jack knew how much Daniel loved keeping a journal. "Thank you," he whispered, "I'm sorry I." 

Jack silenced him with a finger upon his lips. "Shh. It's not a big deal, really. And, it's Christmas, let me give you something, Daniel." And when Jack said his name, it was full of so much more than just an appellation, full of warmth and love.

"Thank you, then," Daniel moved Jack's hand from his mouth and squeezed it tightly before letting go. 

Jack took a quick look around, and then leaned forward to kiss his lover quickly. "Take care. Call me when you get in." 

Daniel nodded, too overwhelmed to speak as he entered the waiting area for his gate. He did not look back. 

End