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[Sensation Series 6] by Akire [e-mail] [www] Status: c/u
Paul wished Daniel would scream. Throw crockery, yell, kick the walls, anything rather than just sit there and stare. He was still in the faded jeans and loose shirt he had worn to Sam’s, but his shoes were discarded by the door. He had folded himself up to sit on the lintel, knees and back pressed against either side of the window frame. The window itself was wide open to the cold fresh breeze coming down the mountain. The only noise came from the distant streets – Daniel himself was silent. Paul tried to keep himself busy. It was his avoidance strategy, his way of coping. But all too soon there were no more shirts left to put away, no more covers to shake out, nothing more to do. He sat down heavily on the corner of the bed. “Daniel?” No answer. “Dan?” “Let’s go back to Denver, catch an earlier flight.” Daniel tipped his head back and closed his eyes. “I don’t want to be here any more.” Run. Paul felt an unsettling feeling rising up within him. “Is that your solution to every problem in your life?” “Paul?” He was on his feet. “Dan, we’ve tried running. It didn’t work, you were miserable! You weren’t the person I fell in love with. You can’t run forever. Stay, and work this out.” Daniel turned to face Paul, his eyes flashing. “What, I should stay here because you think so? Do you really think me that incapable of making decisions about my own life.” Daniel slithered to his feet to be on Paul’s level. “I’m not someone who needs to led around by the hand, Paul. I can make my own decisions, choose how to live my own life.” His voice had been rising in volume until he was shouting. “I know what’s best for me!” “Want to stomp your foot while you’re at it?” Paul laughed bitterly. “Geez, Dan, what is this? Residual orphan abandonment issues? One sharp word from Jack O’Neill and you scurry back to Egypt with your tail between your legs like a whipped puppy. It’s pathetic!” Daniel sneered. “About as pathetic as hiding out with your secret boyfriend when you get the boot for being too camp in uniform. Your father was right, not even the Air Force could straighten you out.” Paul winced. “That was…ouch¸Dan.” Daniel rubbed his head in frustration. “Oh for fucks…you started it.” Paul felt a hysterical giggle rise in his chest. “I started…? I started it!” He collapsed backwards onto the bed with tears streaming down his cheeks as the stress and worry found its own release. “Oh my god, I did, I’m…!” “Paul?” Daniel moved warily closer, then yelped in surprise when Paul pulled him down onto the bed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he ran his palms down the side of Daniel’s face. “I’m sorry, it’s just…fuck.” Daniel rolled over to lie on the bed on his stomach. “Was I really that bad? In Egypt?” Paul nodded. “You were like…a sleepwalker. Just going through the motions. You –“ he carefully tapped a finger on the middle of Daniel’s forehead. “You weren’t really there. It was like your mind and soul were somewhere else entirely.” He grinned sadly. “Out of this world, even.” With a muffled ‘fuck!’ Daniel buried himself under Paul’s arm. Softly, Paul stroked his back. A few moments later, Daniel lifted his head again. “By the way, ‘residual orphan abandonment issues’? Now THAT’s ouch, Paul!” He chuckled, never pausing in his rhythmic stroking. “Hey, I think the whole too camp for the Air Force thing makes us even.” Daniel smiled weakly. “That was a fight, wasn’t it?” Paul made a non-committal noise as he waggled his hand in the air. “More a minor difference of opinion.” Daniel raised an eyebrow. “If that’s minor, I’d hate to see major.” He pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Can a lovers tiff register as Def Con 3?” Paul smiled, snaked a hand out, found what he was looking for, grabbed and pulled. Daniel let out a cry of surprise as the pillow collided squarely on the side of his head. “Right! That’s IT!” Scrabbling across the bed, Daniel snatched up the other pillow and began chasing Paul around the room. *thump* “Archeologist on rampage, tape at 11!” Paul leapt clear then turned to get in a hit of his own. *thump* “Hey!” Paul was chortling. “Hey nothing! You’re faster and fitter than me, it’s not my fault I have to rely on tactical advantage!” Daniel laughed as he retaliated. “Tactical advantage? I call it a sneak-“ *thump* “-attack!” “That wasn’t a sneak attack!” Dropping his pillow, Paul launched himself at Daniel and sent them both tumbling backwards onto the bed. “This,” he said as he began peppering Daniels’ face with light kisses, “is a sneak attack.” Daniel wriggled under Paul’s weight. “Seeking the high ground?” “And getting higher.” Daniel pouted. “I suppose you want an unconditional surrender?” The kisses were getting longer and deeper. “I’m counting on it.” Daniel grinned and bucked Paul off him. “Too bad! I’m not going down easily and I’m not going down alone!” Paul’s smile was voracious. “That I’m also counting on!” Daniel ran the previous sentence through his mind again. “What…oh?” Paul laughed as Daniel realized what he’d said. “Up for it?” “Up and down,” Daniel replied as he pounced, putting his full weight on Paul and pushing him down onto the bed. Paul laughed as he pushed back, rolling them both onto their sides. He reveled in the feeling of strength meeting strength. Everything was equal like this, a perfect synthesis of give and take. Daniel grabbed his arms and pulled him into a fierce hot kiss, all other movement stilling as they focused on that one point of contact. Paul smiled into the kiss as he rested his hands on Daniel’s hips. “Love you,” he whispered as he darted forward again to peck the tip of Dan’s nose. “Love you too.” His hands were pulling at Paul’s shirt, running up his back under the fabric. Paul chuckled. “Glad to hear it. Now, about your earlier suggestion.” Daniel feigned outrage. “My suggestion!! I was innocent –“ he made a soft noise as Paul used the distraction to undo his pants. “Naïve,” the pants were pulled down to his knees. “And completely uncorrupted until I met you.” Daniel kicked until his pants flew across the room. Paul laughed and sat up so Daniel’s wandering hands could completely remove his shirt. “Of course you were. You just keep on telling yourself that.” Nimble fingers were unthreading his belt, and impatiently, Paul pushed them down himself. “Geez, Paul,” Daniel said with a laugh. “Keep your pants on!” “And leave you flapping in the breeze alone? Never.” Daniel was giggling now as he leapt up and landed squarely on Paul’s chest, sending them both toppling back into the pillows. “Not exactly flapping here.” Paul pushed back and Daniel let himself go. The trust shining in those eyes as Daniel fell back to land spread-eagled on the bed took Paul’s breath away. “Oh my god, I love you.” Daniel laughed. “Yes, Paul. I love you too. But if you don’t do something this instant, I’m going love my own right hand even more.” Paul found himself giggling. “Slut.” “Yes. Gimme.” How could he not comply? Like a cat on the prowl, Paul moved on his hands and knees up along the length of Daniel’s body, eyes feasting on the sight before him. Daniel was completely naked from the waist down, and his buttoned shirt was completely open, revealing the lightly tanned expanse of chest. Paul knelt by Daniel’s head, admiring the view. “Paaaaauuuuulllll,” his intended victim whined as he writhed on the bed. Paul pounced, sliding his own body along Daniel’s, using his weight to tip them both to one side. He reached up to wind his arms around Daniel’s legs, and felt Dan mirror the position. His world contracted as he licked his lips and began to feast. He groaned with his mouth full as Daniel began, and felt the shudders of pleasure run up both their bodies simultaneously. He loved this position for this reason – you could never quite tell where one ended and another began. A perfect feedback loop. But the anticipation had been too great, and he knew it would not last long. He felt Daniel trembling towards climax, which only drove his own body more quickly towards release. came at together, both drinking every last drop before they both moved to curl up together in the center of the bed, trading sweet kisses before they finally drifted off into a contented sleep.
Paul came back from his morning run to find Daniel awake. As he let himself into their room, he heard the shower running, and Daniel’s voice singing along with the stereo that was blasting out. “I’m only happy when it rains
Paul slipped into the steam-filled bathroom, careful not to interrupt the performance. Daniel’s torso was just visible behind the steam-fogged glass of the shower, and his pale buttocks were gyrating in time to the beat. Paul suppressed a snigger as he sneaked closer. “You know I love it when the news
is bad
Daniel broke off mid-word to yip ungracefully as Paul goosed him in the shower. “And good morning to you too.” “Exactly,” Paul said with a firm nod of his head as he sat down on the closed toilet lid. “It’s morning. Who are you and what have you done with my Dan?” “Har har.” “I’m serious. I’m a politician, remember. We don’t deal well with change. What’s up?” “I thought we might get out of town for today –“ he held up a hand to forestall any argument. “Uh uh, nothing to do with...” the hand gave a ‘you know’ kind of wave. “I was thinking more along the lines of forest walk and picnic under the trees.” Paul gave a small smile. “Sounds wonderful. But I ask again, why are you – the reigning king of the lunchtime lie-in – up at…” Paul looked at his watch. “Half past eight on a Monday morning?” Daniel shut off the shower, grabbed a towel and wrapped in around his waist. “Because,” he said as he stepped up to grab a wet, steamy kiss. “I need to pick up the picnic from the deli.” He smiled as he paused in the bathroom doorway. “Have a shower, get dressed. We’ll leave as soon as I get back.”
“Dan?” Paul was worried. They had stopped seemingly in the middle of nowhere, and Daniel was now starting intently down the valley. “Dan, what is it?” He suddenly realized what Daniel was starting at: the side of Cheyenne Mountain. Paul felt like he had just been kicked in the guts, and wearily went to sit down on an exposed rock. It was like this insane tug-of-war between Daniel and that place. He needed to be there, perhaps, in the deepest part of himself, even wanted to be there. But at the same time unidentified forces were driving his lover away. He wanted to fight for Dan’s return, for what he knew to be the right thing. But how do you fight against something you couldn’t even identify? Daniel dropped down to sit beside Paul, and he automatically shuffled over to make room. Daniel passed over the water bottle and some cookies that had remained after their lunch on a sun-drenched clearing further up ridge. “Sorry,” he began tiredly. “It just kind of hit me.” Paul put the bottle on the ground between his feet and reached around to hug Daniel closer to his side. “Shh,” he began. “It’s okay.” “It’s not okay,” Daniel spat in frustration. “And I don’t know how to make it okay. You see over there,” he said, pointing down the valley. “Somewhere there, I smuggled a Tollan leader outside so he could contact the Nox. Somewhere there, I realized that there were going to be times when it would just be me against the military.” He snuggled down closer against Paul. “At the time, I was willing, Paul. I was just raring for the fight. Bring it on, Dr Jackson will take all comers, ding ding. But…” he sighed and rubbed beneath his glasses. “But somewhere along the line, I…I don’t know, I lost the will to fight.” Paul rubbed small, soothing circles on Daniel’s back, but said nothing. He had a feeling that the confession was not over yet. “So I try to go away…deny the battle.” His snort was sarcastic. “Didn’t work. I dreamed about this place. I never told you, but I used to lie with you in our bed in Egypt, and dream about the DHD. The symbols would float before me, and I would reach out to grab them – and wake up with my hands full of thin air.” “Why not turn and face, then?” “Go back.” Daniel’s voice was flat and emotionless. “I’m not saying sign your life away again. Just…look at what it was that pushed you away in the first place. Look at it closely.” He tilted Daniel’s face towards his. “Look it right in the eye and figure it out. Decide once and for all if it is sufficient to keep you away.” He gave a little shrug. “If it is, we go. But if it isn’t…” he gave Daniel a little squeeze. “You’ve fought for all those people out there. This time, fight for yourself. Claim your space and don’t let anything get in your way.” “Claim my space?” “Take back what’s yours.” Daniel hiccupped slightly. “Yes, coach.” Paul laughed lightly with relief. “Good. Come on, let’s head back down.” With gentle hands he tugged Daniel to his feet and let him lead them down the track.
“Were we expected somewhere?” Paul handed the note to Daniel. He frowned. “That’s General Hammond’s direct number.” Unlocking the door, Daniel made a beeline to the phone beside the bed. Following, Paul carefully closed and latched the door before crawling across the bed to kneel behind Daniel. “Yes. Dr Daniel Jackson, returning the…thank you.” Daniel reached up to grasp Paul’s hand lying on his shoulder. “Hello, General. I got your message.” The grip became tighter. “I see. When…last night.” Paul automatically looked to the clock – it was now just before four in the afternoon. “And nobody there can identify it? Of course.” Daniel paused, then twisted to look at Paul. “Yes sir, he’s right here. How did you…of course. Do you want to…” Daniel blinked. “Of course. We’ll see you soon.” Carefully, he hung up the phone. “What’s wrong? Sounded serious.” Daniel nodded, his eyes focused on something internal. “Last night SG-2 sent out a distress call. SG-1 went to their aid and got…trapped, by the sounds of it. Teal’c was bringing up the rear and just managed to avoid getting caught. He headed back to the Gate for reinforcements. The problem is, no one there can identify any of the symbols or details that the MALPs have sent back.” He finally looked up to meet Paul’s concerned green eyes. “Hammond wants me to come and take a look. Actually, he wants us to come and take a look.” “Us?” Paul sat back heavily. “Why me? What help could I possibly be?” Daniel shrugged. “I don’t know, you can ask him when we get there.” Paul nodded as half a lifetime of military discipline came back to him. “Then let’s get going.”
“It looks vaguely runic, but I’d need to do a comparison on a wider sample. Is Kathy around?” Hammond nodded as he watched Daniel pour over the spread of photographs on the briefing room table. “Yes, the complete set of images is waiting for you in the language labs.” Daniel was already heading for the stairwell. “Then that’s where I’ll be.” He paused at the top. “Umm, is it okay for me to be wandering around here now?” Hammond cracked a small smile and nodded. “They security clearance you signed is sufficient for me, Dr Jackson.” Daniel nodded once then vanished down the steps. “You know I don’t read runes, sir?” Hammond looked over to where Paul was leaning against the window, looking down on the empty embarkation room. It had been a shock for him at first to see the ex-JCS liaison in civilian clothing. He seemed…unkempt, somehow. Not properly dressed. “I know you don’t, Maj- Mister Davis.” Paul pushed himself off the glass and walked over to stand before Hammond. “Just Paul is fine, sir.” He looked over at the stairwell for a moment. “You know why I left, don’t you?” Hammond nodded. “I heard enough to know a snowjob when I see one.” He nodded as Paul’s head snapped around to look him in the eye. “You were a damn fine officer, and it was our loss when you had to leave. Your personal lifestyle shouldn’t have been an issue.” Paul licked his lips nervously. “But it was, General. And I’m no longer Air Force, I’m no longer your liaison to the Pentagon. So I ask again, why do you want me here?” George Hammond gestured for them to sit. “Let me lay it out for you, son. You were a good officer. But Daniel Jackson is…” “One of a kind.” “Exactly. Now, I’ll confess that I was as surprised as the next person when I learnt of your…connection with Dr Jackson. But,” he sighed heavily as he chose his words carefully. “Feel free to say no to what I am going to ask of you.” Paul sat up a little straighter in his chair. “You want Daniel back, and you want to use me as bait.” He smiled tightly at the surprised look he received. “I’m right, aren’t I?” Hammond couldn’t look him in the eye. “Yes, son, you are.” “Alright.” This time it was Hammond’s turn to react sharply. “Just like that?” Paul leant forward to rest on his arms. “I don’t know what Major Carter told you of our conversations before she left. But I think Dan belongs here just as much as all of you. More so,” he added after a moment’s thought. “I’ve seen first-hand what not being here does to him. But dangling me as bait is not going to be enough. I think there’s a part of him that wants to come back, but it’s not enough to combat whatever – or whoever – it was that drove him away in the first place.” “What are you saying?” “What I’m saying,” Paul said with exaggerated care. “Is that, contrary to base grapevine, I did not drag Daniel away kicking and screaming to live in gay sexual bliss with me in Egypt. I saw him when he came home from here, sir. I saw him without the mask of Dr Jackson. He was being pushed beyond his endurance. He left because he couldn’t handle it any more.” George wore a look of confusion. “Forgive me, but you make it sound like you two were living together here before he left for Egypt.” “Since the day after I was escorted out of the military,” Paul said with a nod. “You were living with Dr Jackson all that time?” Hammond was openly surprised. “I never knew.” Paul pushed himself to his feet. “No-one knew because no-one came to see. What I want to know is how long was he alone before all this happened?” He sighed and walked over to the window to look down at the Gate. “I’m not laying blame, I’m not making accusations.” He said at last. “I just want to fix it. I want him to be happy again.” Hammond had also risen. “On that, at least, we agree.”
The clips and ties of the fatigues came together under his hands without conscious thought. He could do this in his sleep, no matter how long he was away from it. On the other side of the room, Teal’c tightened the last strap. “See you in the Gateroom,” Daniel offered self-consciously. Teal’c had reacted to his temporary return as if he had never left. Everyone else he had run into hailed his return loudly and cheerfully. Daniel found it all strangely unsettling. Teal’c hesitated, but Daniel waved him on. He wanted no witnesses to this. With a silent bow, Teal’c picked up his pack and headed into the corridor. “Paul?” “Almost ready, Dan.” “Don’t come.” Paul’s hands hesitated on his bootlaces as he lifted his head to look Daniel in the eye. “Pardon me?” “Don’t come,” he repeated firmly. “Please, stay here.” A look of confusion flitted across his face as he jammed the ends of his laces in. “Hammond thinks having a negotiator on the team might help.” Daniel crossed the floor in two quick steps to take Paul by the shoulders. “Fuck them,” he whispered fiercely. “I don’t want you to come.” Paul swallowed hard, forcing himself to keep a tight rein on his temper. “Can I ask why?” “I would feel better if you were here.” Paul pulled at the cuffs of his fatigue jacket. “What, you want me to wait by the wormhole while you go off? Dutiful and patient? I’m never going to be barefoot and pregnant, Dan, so get used to it!” “No,” Daniel hissed, appalled. “No, nothing like that. I’d just feel…it would be safer if you stayed here.” “I am…I was a fully trained officer in the United States Air Force,” Paul said with pride. “I think I can handle myself in a field situation.” Daniel shook his head. “But you’ve never been through the Gate before. It’s a whole other world out there, literally.” Paul put his hands on his hips. “So? I was asked to come, and I think I can be useful out there. I won’t let you down, Dan.” Daniel’s eyes held a wild, trapped look. “Paul, it’s nothing like that.” “Then what is it, Dan?” Paul forced a smile. “Because this request isn’t doing wonders for my self-confidence.” Daniel hissed in exasperation as he strode across the gear-up room. “Fucking hell, it’s me,” he finally snapped out. “Alright? It’s me!” “You? Dan, I don’t understand. Is it because we’re together, you think…” “No,” Daniel cut him off. “Damn it, Paul, look at my track record. I reopened the Gate, and my wife was made a host for Ammaunet. I go back to Chicago and find my ex-girlfriend, Goa’uld-ed by Osiris. I…” he stuttered. “I don’t want to give them a chance to make it three for three.” He laughed, a brittle and sarcastic sound. “I’m not exactly the best lucky charm for Gate travel.” Paul reached out and grabbed him. He ran his hands up and down Daniel’s arms. “Hey,” he said soothingly. “That was not your fault. Besides,” he added with a cheeky grin. “You think I’m going to let go just when I’ve found you?” His smile broadened when Daniel managed a snort of laughter. “Listen, we’re not going out there alone. SG-3 will watch our six, you’ll decode the traps and I’ll negotiate with any people we might meet.” He gave Daniel a little shake. “Have faith, Daniel. I do. And that’s saying something for a lapsed Catholic.” Daniel snorted again. “Okay, I’ll try.” He shrugged. “I’ll worry, though.” “You just focus on doing your job and I’ll focus on doing mine. Come on, they’re waiting for us.” Side by side, they walked out of the gear-up room. The last chevron was being encoded as they walked past the huge blast doors. Paul didn’t miss the soft smile Daniel wore as he watched the Gate explode and stabilized. “Okay, people, we ready?” A chorus of positive voices sounded around them. “Let’s go.” The two marines on point moved confidently up the ramp and disappeared through the event horizon. “Dr J?” Daniel looked over at Ferretti. “Ready?” Nodding, with a look of quiet wonder on his face, Daniel moved up the ramp and stepped through the wormhole. “Sir?” “Major?” “Since it’s your first time, I recommend you just take a deep breath and jump through. Don’t hesitate.” “Thanks,” Paul told him as they approached
the horizon. He had no intention of hesitating. Inhaling deeply, he followed
his Daniel.
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